It’s the Quarterbacking, Stupid
The Coach and Dr. Football
November 30, 2017
So, there are media stars throughout the National Football League world who would like you to believe that TV ratings are down this season because some players, in the fine tradition of the United States Constitution, have held a quiet protest over police brutality.
Those media bright lights are either trying to stir up a little stew of nasty race relations or they just don’t want to believe the problem is at the heart of the game of itself.
But here’s a fact: If indeed people have stopped watching the NFL, they might want to say it’s because they don’t like the protests (especially the really dumb folks who think the players are protesting the anthem, the flag and the American military), but the real reason is a lot simpler. Like Occam’s Razor, in which the simplest assumption should be accepted, the easiest reason for turning off the TV each week is that many of the games are awful. There is just too much bad football.
And it’s bad because of this: Here are 13 quarterbacks who will start in the NFL this week: Geno Smith, Ryan Fitzpatrick, Brett Hundley, Jacoby Brissett, Trevor Siemian, Matt Moore, Josh McCown, Tom Savage, Blaine Gabbert, Mitch Trubisky and DeShone Kizer. That’s embarrassing.
There are simply not enough qualified quarterbacks in the NFL. For many teams, it’s straight up minor league football. There are CFL and Arena League quarterbacks who are 10 times better than these donkeys.
On the bright side, when one of these guys goes up against a real quarterback: Tom Brady, Drew Brees, Carson Wentz and, surprisingly this year, Jared Goff and Case Keenum, the real quarterback will almost always win. It’s been the not-so-secret secret to making wads of cash this year.
Last week Dr. Football went 12-4 (122-54) and 8-8 (96-80) against the spread while The Coach went 11-5 (123-53) and 9-7 (104-72) against the spread. We’re making so much money this year, we’ll need a Cayman Islands bank to hide our dough. Thanks Nathan Peterman, Brett Hundley and Matt Moore.
There are no byes this week, so let’s take a close look at Week 13.
Washington Redskins (5-6) at Dallas Cowboys (5-6)
Line: Redskins by 1
The Cowboys haven’t figured out how to play without Ezekiel Elliott, and were burnt bad last week by the Chargers. But I wouldn’t count them out yet.
Dr. Football: Take the Cowboys in an upset.
The Coach: Hold your nose and take Dallas.
EARLY SUNDAY AFTERNOON
Detroit Lions (6-5) at Baltimore Ravens (6-5)
Line : Ravens by 2.5
Baltimore’s defense will be the key here as they will stop Matthew Stafford and the Lions.
Dr. Football: Take the Ravens to win and cover.
The Coach: Tale the Ravens to win and cover.
San Francisco 49ers (1-10) at Chicago Bears (3-8)
Line: Bears by 3.5
Does anyone think Jimmy Garoppolo is the answer for San Francisco? The Coach says: Well, Mitch Trubisky isn’t the answer in Chicago. I’d suggest avoiding this dog-ass game, but …
Dr. Football: Take the Bears to win and cover.
The Coach: Take the Bears to win and cover.
Minnesota Vikings (9-2) at Atlanta Falcons (7-4)
Line: Falcons by 3
Minnesota has been on a great run, but Atlanta’s defense will be too tough on the road. The Coach says: Teddy Bridgewater will be the Vikings quarterback by game’s end.
Dr. Football: Take the Falcons to win and cover.
The Coach: Take the Falcons to win and cover.
New England Patriots (9-2) at Buffalo Bills (6-5)
Line: Patriots by 8.5
Sure the Bills looked good against the reeling Chiefs, but they don’t have enough on defense to stop Tom Brady.
Dr. Football: Take the Patriots to win and cover.
The Coach: Take the Patriots to win and cover.
Denver Broncos (3-8) at Miami Dolphins (4-7)
Line: Broncos by 1
Two terrible teams with an entire December of meaningless games. Go with the home team. The Coach says: This might be the worst quarterback matchup in NFL history. Two seniors on scooters would be just as competent as whomever these two dogs trotted out there.
Dr. Football: Take the Dolphins in an upset.
The Coach: Take the Dolphins and hide your eyes.
Houston Texans (4-7) at Tennessee Titans (7-4)
Line: Titans by 6.5
Houston’s season is a write off and playing consecutive road games on a short week is tough. Look for Marcus Mariota to have a big day.
Dr. Football: Take the Titans to win and cover.
The Coach: Take the Titans to win and cover.
Indianapolis Colts (3-8) at Jacksonville Jaguars (7-4)
Line: Jaguars by 9.5
With last week’s stinker out of their system, Jacksonville should be able to handle the lifeless Colts.
Dr. Football: Take the Jaguars to win and cover.
The Coach: Take the Jaguars to win and cover.
Tampa Bay Buccaneers (4-7) at Green Bay Packers (5-6)
Brett Hundley played his best game of the season last week and the offense showed some spark. Green Bay should easily handle Tampa Bay.
Dr. Football: Take the Packers to win and cover.
The Coach: OK, takes Green Bay at home.
Kansas City Chiefs (6-5) at New York Jets (4-7)
Line: Chiefs by 3
Last time the Chiefs played in this stadium, the lowly Giants beat them. I don’t think they will fix their offensive problems in time. The Coach says: This is why ratings are down. Gawd, this is an awful game.
Dr. Football: Take the Jets in an upset.
The Coach: Take the Jets (but don’t watch it)
LATE SUNDAY AFTERNOON
Cleveland Browns (0-11) at Los Angeles Chargers (5-6)
Line: Chargers by 13.5
I really have to waste typing on this one? The Chargers dominated on US Thanksgiving in Dallas. They won’t even break a sweat in this one. The Coach says: As the Browns remain winless, one Cleveland fan plans to make the best of a bad situation. Chris McNeil has already filed the necessary paperwork with city officials to hold a parade around FirstEnergy Stadium between Noon and 2 p.m. EST on Jan. 6, when the Browns go 0-16.
Dr. Football: Take the Chargers to win and cover.
The Coach: Take the Chargers to win and cover.
Carolina Panthers (8-3) at New Orleans Saints (8-3)
Line: Saints by 4
New Orleans beat the Panthers earlier this year, and I think they will again here as Carolina is playing its second consecutive road game.
Dr. Football: Take the Saints to win and cover.
The Coach: Take the Saints to win and cover.
Los Angeles Rams (8-3) at Arizona Cardinals (5-6)
Line: Rams by 7
Arizona got a boost last week by beating Jacksonville by playing good defense. But I think the Rams are too tough and should win a tight one.
Dr. Football: Take the Rams to win but not cover.
The Coach: Take the Rams to win and cover.
New York Giants (2-9) at Oakland Raiders (5-6)
Line: Raiders by 7
It’s just sad what has become of the Giants…and all the drama will reflect on the field. The Coach says: benching Eli Manning will turn this game into a sick joke.
Dr. Football: Take the Raiders to win and cover.
The Coach: Take the Raiders to win and cover.
Philadelphia Eagles (10-1) at Seattle Seahawks (7-4)
Line: Eagles by 5.5
The Seahawks aren’t the same team at home anymore…I think the 12th man didn’t renew his season tickets. Philadelphia keeps on rolling.
Dr. Football: Take the Eagles to win and cover.
The Coach: Take the Eagles to win and cover.
Pittsburgh Steelers (9-2) at Cincinnati Bengals (5-6)
Line: Steelers by 5
This is a playoff type game for Cincinnati as it could help decide their post season fate. Something didn’t look right last week with the Steelers, and I think it will show up again.
Dr. Football: Take the Bengals in an upset.
The Coach: Take the Steelers to win but not cover.